Questions:Ego trip:Self centered rambling.

October 24, 2010 at 2:20 am 2 comments

I have a problem.


I am never happy with what I am doing. I mean, I like living my life and I like doing what I do, but every time I get settled in to a potential life path I start to feel like I need to be doing something else. Its like this antsy, have to move forward kind of feeling. It started in high school; I liked my courses and friends but I spent my entire high school career waiting to graduate. Then came college, I went to a fancy-pantsy art school and as soon as I started to really get in to the grind of the semester I started to convince myself that I didn’t really want to be an artist, and I wanted to live life a little bit more before I started getting myself in to debt for a degree in art. Then I worked for a while, and while I was working I started getting the urge to travel and have adventures. Then while I was having this great and miserable and enlightening time bicycling halfway across the country I was feeling like all I wanted to do was go to university and study. Then, while I was at university, I realized I wanted to go to art school after all. Now I’m here and I am going to get a degree if it kills me, but I’m already starting to toss around the idea of getting another degree in psychology or religious studies or literature or education, and I’m trying to figure out how grad school works, like if I could get a masters in one of those with a BFA for my undergrad degree and I just know that if I were in grad school I would be wishing I was doing something else.

I can’t understand why I am never content with my current situation. Its like I’m perpetually stuck trying to get to “the future” where I will never actually be.



Entry filed under: Rambling, Wall Of Text.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. DLJ  |  October 25, 2010 at 2:53 am

    “Be Here Now” – Ram Dass

    “The future is coming no matter what you do or don’t do. So, you might as well be fully present and enjoy the moment.”
    – Mom

    • 2. DLJ  |  October 25, 2010 at 3:41 am

      “The future is coming no matter what…. ” I forgot to mention that I KNOW THIS FROM EXPERIENCE !! Oiy! It just keeps coming and coming.

      Hmmm, can all of life be defined by only two phases? – Phase One: We want to be in the future. Phase Two: We want the future to stay far, far away.

      Let me know when you figure out the meaning of life. Please.


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