Cookies Make it Better (a review)
Anyone who has read this blog knows that I spend a lot of time talking about how great and talented my friends are. This is because I have an upsettingly large number of people in my life who are exceptionally good at what they do. One of those people is my friend Rosemary. She is a baker, and makes some of the best vegan sweets I have ever had.
So when she called and asked me to review her new line of cookies I jumped at the chance. I get to eat cookies and talk about my friends? Seriously, is there a downside to this situation? Is someone going to jump out from behind me and punch me in the neck? Why is this even a question?
Cookies Make it Better
all of these cookies are all dairy-free, egg-free, vegan. they are made with all-natural ingredients, organic whenever possible (includes the evaporated cane juice and palm shortening) and chocolate items contain soy.
The idea of the Cookies Make it Better line is to help you say those things you want/need to say to your friend / lover / significant other / co-worker / parent / classmate / cat / stranger on the subway, while softening the blow with a delicious cookie.
You can also use them if you want to be a dick, but an endearing dick. Thats what I would do.
Just kidding- I’m going to start with the meanest cookie in the bunch because it is also the most awesome. Imagine it, you hand this lovely heart-shaped cookie to the lady / gentleman / person / cat / timelord of your choosing. They are momentarily filled with either joy or anxiety and then they read it and react accordingly. With one simple cookie you have sent this person on an emotional roller coaster ride and you have given them the gift of either humor, or (if they cry) catharsis. This shortbread heart dipped in semi-sweet chocolate is not overly sweet, and has a delicate flavor. Perfect for whomever you choose, to choke down while crying in the bathroom, putting a sweet flaky band-aid on that emotional wound.
I hate your new haircut- I can’t hide it any more. Your Dorothy Hamill with permed bangs just does NOT work for you! Here, have a Peanut butter sandwich cookie with organic raspberry jam center. This cookie is seriously good, the cookie is strong enough in flavor that the sweet jam doesn’t overpower it and they work together harmoniously, unlike that new weave and your orange highlights.
You’re sweaty- We all know that feeling of being touched by someone who is overly sweaty. Whether it was your friend, having just run a mile in august, or just a stranger in an elevator trying to reach for the button. How about next time you see that arm coming at you, skin glistening with perspiration, you hand them this chocolate-chocolate chip-pecan sandwich cookie with DELICIOUS AS FUCK ganache center and let it tell them what you are too grossed out to say.
My food is my food, not yours -
Honestly, I wouldn’t share this oatmeal raisin sandwich cookie with caramel filling either, I would probably punch anyone who wanted to take it away from me.
Stop wearing so much body spray- Here, maybe the smell of this chocolate chip cookie with chocolate gnache centre will over power the scent of that… what is that? A chemical treatment plant? a flower grown in a caustic garden? The spray you use to make bathrooms smell like toxic potpourri ? Why would you want to smell like that?
You own several pairs of ugly shoes- It just needs to be addressed. Those went out of style before shoes were invented. This cookie will never go out of style. a light flavored sugar cookie with lemon curd filling. This flavor is timeless, those sneakers that your 7th grade boyfriend drew a lopsided skull and crossbones on are not.
Don’t you feel better now that all of that is out in the open? no? Here, have a cookie, it’ll make it better
These cookies can also be made gluten free, and gluten free vegan on request, and for those of you who have allergies, complete ingredient lists are available by request and can be included in the box.
Want to buy some? HELL YEAH YOU DO. There will be information about how to purchase on the Virago website by monday. They’re the perfect antidote or addition to valentines day.